Da Tang Si Zi: My Six Super Rich Little Nuggets!

Chapter 216 Zhao Wenhui's Third Memorial Ceremony, Li Jinzhong and Sun Wanrong.

"Little Si, the dowry from the Eastern Turks is piled up like a mountain." The Emperor, clutching the abacus beads, smiled in the moonlight like a somewhat uneasy fox. "Look at the quality of this coral and agate; it's enough to make ten sets of armor for each of the generals."

Xiao Si paused, her hand holding the teacup still. As the youngest professional in marriage alliances in the Tang Dynasty, Xiao Si had become accustomed to the emperors, fathers of successive generations of princesses she had transmigrated from, using these alliances as a KPI assessment for her.

But this time, the person in question is said to be nearly sixty years old and has a bunch of beautiful and fierce concubines from the grasslands. Xiao Si thought to herself, "Is this going to make me the female lead in a Turkic version of 'Scarlet Heart'?"

"Yingzhou Governor Zhao Wenhui has driven the Khitans to rebellion again." Xiao Si deliberately knocked her teacup onto the sandalwood table, watching as the wrinkles at the corners of her father's eyes suddenly deepened. "I heard that his way of governing the border is like that of an old scholar going through premature menopause, constantly checking the Khitan leaders' KPIs every few days. He thinks too much of himself as a leader..."

The Emperor's finger poked a hole in the map: "The name Li Jinzhong sounds unlucky! His grandfather was bestowed the surname by me, which was supposed to be a great honor, but she turned around and changed her grandson's name to 'Jinzhong'—is she afraid the clansmen won't know how resentful they feel?!"

Xiao Si suppressed a laugh, recalling the scene from his mission to the Khitan last year.

Inside the felt tent of the Songmo Governor's Mansion, Li Jinzhong, clutching a wine flask, poured out his grievances: "Princess, you tell me, we Khitan men, who hunt eagles and ride horses on the grasslands, are forced to learn the archaic language of the Han people. My name is even worse; every time I introduce myself, it feels like I'm casting a curse on myself, especially in front of my own people—it's incredibly embarrassing."

Just then, the sound of horses' hooves suddenly came from outside the window. Several men carrying wine jars burst in, the eldest brother-in-law, Sun Wanrong, leading the way, his face flushed: "Princess, look! This is our newly brewed mare's milk wine, much stronger than the Han people's yellow wine!"

Xiao Si noticed the jade pendant hanging from his waist, its pattern identical to the jade pendant set the Emperor had bestowed upon the Xi tribe last year. It seemed these "unruly frontier people" had long since learned to navigate between the imperial court and the grasslands.

Back inside the palace:

"Why don't you appoint Sun Wanrong as the governor of Yingzhou?" Xiao Si suddenly had a brilliant idea. "He can wrestle and hunt with the Khitans, and he can also play word games with the imperial court. Wouldn't he be considered a versatile talent?"

The Emperor rolled his eyes at Xiao Si: "Do you think the court is a game? No matter how incompetent Zhao Wenhui is, he was personally promoted by me. Those Khitans are ultimately not one of our own."

He suddenly lowered his voice, "However, I heard that Sun Wanrong has recently been studying 'The Book of Master Guigu' and has also written a book called 'A Survival Guide for the Grassland Workplace.' That's worth noting."

The moon outside the window quietly hid behind the clouds. Xiao Si touched the marriage agreement document on the table and suddenly laughed out loud.

The Emperor asked Xiao Si what she was laughing at, and Xiao Si waved the betrothal gift list in her hand: "Look, there are even seeds of bird's nest fruit in this betrothal gift. Do you intend for me to open a fruit shop on the grasslands of the Turkic Khan?"

The emperor finally couldn't hold back and spat out a mouthful of tea onto the map.

Looking at the border map blurred by the tea, Xiao Si suddenly felt that those rebellions, marriage alliances, and power struggles were nothing more than the most absurd jokes in the long river of history.

Just like now, father and daughter are using jokes to defuse the empire's crisis in the study, while thousands of miles away on the grasslands, a Khitan leader is practicing his newly learned Chinese under the moonlight: "My fellow travelers, today we're having a Khitan-limited edition of 'Zaokang' (a type of rice porridge) – a secret recipe from our grasslands! Even the Turkic Khan next door is drooling!"

Zi'an wasn't idle either:

"Look closely, everyone! This Li Jinzhong calls himself the Tang Dynasty version of the 'Wolf King'!"

That August, the Wu Zhou army came with murderous intent to attack the Khitan. Old Li, far from panicking, even staged some performance art in the dungeon—he pulled hundreds of prisoners out and personally became a food blogger.

After they had eaten and drunk their fill, Old Li suddenly switched to a pyramid scheme mode: "My family, it's not that I don't want to support you, it's just that there's a famine on the grasslands lately, even the rats are so thin they could be used as notebooks. How about this, you all run off to Youzhou now, and when you see the government troops, tell them that the Khitans are so poor they can't even afford underwear, and they're just waiting for the royal army to come and bring them warmth!"

Just as the prisoners were wiping away tears and running away, the government army commander Cao Renshi was boasting to his men: "I heard that the Khitans have even gnawed all the bark off the trees?"

Before he could finish speaking, a group of refugees rushed over, crying and shouting, "General, save us! The Khitans are so hungry they're eating dirt; they're just hoping the government troops will come and take them in!"

Cao Renshi was overjoyed upon hearing this and immediately performed a backflip for his men: "Brothers, the time to make a name for ourselves has come! Let's charge in now and show the Khitans what the speed of the Tang Dynasty is all about!"

As expected, the government troops plunged into Huangzhang Valley and were like tripe falling into a hot pot – they were thoroughly thrashed by Li Jinzhong's ambush.

Afterwards, Cao Renshi scratched his head and muttered to himself, "Everyone says the Khitans are good at herding sheep, but how come even we government troops were 'herded' like sheep?"

Who is Cao Renshi?

Zhen Xiaosi, a history graduate, taps the blackboard: "Classmates, today we're going to have a lively lesson on 'Ancient Military Anti-Fraud Guide'! The main characters are the 'Eagle Guard Team' from the Wu Zhou period—Generals Cao Renshi, Zhang Xuanyu, and Ma Renjie. They use their personal experiences to tell us: If your IQ suddenly drops on the battlefield, you'll really be made a fool of by your opponent!"

The story is set against the backdrop of the Yingzhou Rebellion, where the Khitans first employed a masterclass in psychological warfare. They imprisoned hundreds of Tang soldiers in a dungeon, when suddenly the warden changed! The newly appointed Khitan, speaking with a thick Northeastern accent, said, "My lords, you've suffered so much! Your wives and children are starving, just waiting for the government troops to come and take us in!" He then brought out a bowl of porridge: "This may not be as good as a Manchu-Han Imperial Feast, but it'll fill you up! We're short on food here, and we can't bear to kill you. Why don't you gentlemen go ahead and deliver a message to the government troops?"

This maneuver completely outmaneuvered the Tang army. The released prisoners ran back to Youzhou and enthusiastically recommended the move: "The Khitans are so poor they're practically eating tree bark. If we charge in now, we can win without lifting a finger!" Upon hearing this, the Tang generals' eyes lit up, as if they could already see the Khitans lining up to raise white flags and themselves being promoted and ennobled.

The real climax is here! When the Tang army's vanguard arrived at Huangzhang Valley, they saw several Khitan "old, weak, sick and disabled" people pleading for mercy by the roadside: "Oh, the government army is here, we're saved!" They also casually threw away a few old oxen so thin you could see their bones.

Cao Renshi and his men immediately demonstrated what it meant to be "blinded by greed," waving their hands dismissively: "Infantry, stay and watch the baggage; cavalry, follow me!"

As soon as they entered the valley, the Khitans suddenly transformed into "Wolverines"!

An ambush appeared out of nowhere and used ropes to tie Zhang Xuanyu and Ma Renjie up like dumplings; Cao Renshi was not spared either.

The once-proud cavalry unit was instantly transformed into a "human stacking game," with Tang soldiers lying dead in the valley, a scene comparable to a large-scale live-action "Match-3" game.

Okay, class representative, please summarize.

The class representative stood up: "Teacher Zhen's story teaches us three lessons: First, if the enemy suddenly comes to offer help, it's 100% a trap! Second, don't pick the wildflowers by the roadside; the old ox by the roadside is bait! Third, if you don't use your brain in battle, you really will be captured and forced to do the Khitan people's square dance..."

The students burst into laughter. Zhen Xiaosi nodded: "Hmm, a good summary. Finally, a friendly reminder: when going into battle, please rely on official anti-fraud guides; for a quick IQ boost, please use my WeChat account."

At that moment, the academic affairs director burst into the room and took Xiao Si away.

Little Si woke up. Did I just return to the modern world?

Where are my little tiger and Qiu Xiaoyin?