allonlinenovel Chapter 259 Self-pity
Chapter 259 Self-pity
“Fanasis brings emptiness, and when you are empty, you want to die.”
"I can't control this emotion, and I don't know why it comes."
"Just like I still can't figure out why I'm the way I am now."
"I have a good family, my parents are harmonious, and my home is warm. They have always been there for me, giving me what I need and what I desire."
“It seems like I’ve never lacked what I wanted, but does this really make sense?”
“I’ve thought about this countless times late at night.”
"Perhaps this is due to my inner cowardice."
“It terrifies me to witness a partial reality of this world.”
"I tried not to look at this cannibalistic world, tried not to think about the intrigues within the family, and tried not to feel the exchange of interests stemming from blood ties."
"But I know that these days will eventually come to an end. The comfortable life I've lived relying on my family will eventually fade with the decline of my family."
“We are all consumables, parts.”
"I can't understand what's the point of living in a world like this. To survive, I have to keep plundering. To live better, I have to kill more people."
"Is material satisfaction really that important? Perhaps I'm not qualified to say this. I just can't understand it, just like I can't understand everything that's happening in this world."
She paused for a moment, then sighed softly:
“Life isn’t as fun as I thought it would be.”
Blood gushed out from her wound, but Ji Yun continued to pull out the hair on her body one by one.
The smell of death became stronger and stronger. Ji Mo sniffed the blood in the air, interrupted Ji Yun, and said softly, "You are going to die."
"Ok?"
Ji Yun paused plucking the hair, and her wandering eyes looked at Ji Mo again. She smiled happily, "Really?"
"That's great."
Before she could laugh, her smiling face disappeared again, and her eyes left Ji Mo and looked up at the sky.
A breeze blew past her, blowing away the blood, and the remaining hair on her head was blown aside by the breeze.
His relaxed brows furrowed once again, and his hazy eyes became determined. "Unfortunately, I can't die yet."
"I can't die yet, and I don't have the right to die. What will they do if I die?"
"Some things are not something I can decide on a whim. I want to live, I must live. Some people don't want me to die."
"I can only live in pain and pretend that nothing happened. I can't let anyone see me like this."
Ji Yun withdrew his gaze and looked at Ji Mo with a cruel smile.
"That's why I feel like we're the same kind of people. Is what you show outwardly really you? Is the you right now really you?"
Ji Yun's gaze seemed to penetrate Ji Mo's body and face his soul directly. This feeling made Ji Mo feel a little uncomfortable.
Ji Yun ignored Ji Mo's reaction. She murmured softly, as if in a dream, "We are all the same kind of people. We will all become crazy and twisted under such oppression. We want to prove that we are still alive, but we also long for death. Death is the only restful sleep, the only tranquility."
"You know what? At the end of the season, I tried to commit suicide. I also tried to assimilate with the demon pill. I tried countless methods, but in the end, I gave up."
"I clearly remember their words, tears, and actions when I took the risk. Everything was made up of reluctance and pain. I thought I was numb and heartless, but when I saw their painful faces, I chose to give up. I couldn't do that. I often hoped for the best and tried to alleviate these symptoms. Maybe tomorrow would be better. I often comforted myself like this."
"But even deceiving myself is useless. Even if I brainwash myself, I'll always remember it one day. I say I'm going all out, but I always leave myself a way out. I regret it every time."
"So, I envy you. You have no connection with this world anymore. No one can stop you, and there is no reason for you not to leave."
Ji Yun's body gradually weakened, blood accumulated on the ground, her voice gradually became dim and vague, and her eyes became dark.
The smell of death became stronger and stronger. Ji Mo just stood aside, listening to her complaints and struggles silently, without interfering and without knowing how to interfere.
Ji Yun exhaled a breath of foul air and suddenly laughed out loud for some reason.
"I'm going to die." She raised her arms and stretched them towards the sky. A breeze blew from afar, bringing the fragrance of flowers. Ji Yun's claws stained with mud kept closing, as if trying to catch the wind that was about to go away.
The dim whisper echoes in my ears at the end of the season.
"Why did it become like this?"
Her constricted pupils gradually dilated, and her outstretched arms had no more strength left. She fell from the air, hitting the ground, stirring up dust. The dust, like fragments, floated in the air and fell on her body, as if it was a silent farewell.
The orange cat, or Ji Yun, died completely at this moment in this secret realm. It was not from external injuries or fighting, but because he was unable to face his own emotions and ended this short life in pain.
Perhaps, in this short journey in the secret realm, she has completed her mission. The thick breath of death turned into black mist, gradually rising from the dead body and floating into the black ball in the highest sky.
"Another one died."
Ji Mo raised his head and looked at the sky. The feeling in his heart told him that there were not many lives left in this world. The fire killed too many lives, and most of the people selected in the secret realm had died.
Apart from Ji Ruoli in the swamp, Baishui who has not left yet, Fengshuang who has just woken up, and Zhao Ruoxi who woke up under the ancient tree of life, there is only Kun Ling on the edge of the East China Sea.
……
To the east of the woods, at the edge of the endless sea, on the high cliffs, countless lines were engraved on the ground, twisting together to form a picture.
In the center of the picture, there are two coffins. A gray wolf is licking its bloody palms due to engravings. Her face is excited, as if something she has longed for is about to be completed. She howls enthusiastically, and finally the fruits of her hard work over the years have reaped the rewards.
She looked at the marks on the ground, then at the blood on her palm, her face ferocious. Her sharp teeth bit into her blood vessels, tearing them apart fiercely. Blood gushed out like a waterfall, falling on the scratches.
After feeling the nourishment of the blood, the twisted lines gradually began to emit a scarlet glow. The blood flowed from the edge to the two coffins in the center, and circulated continuously like water. As the blood increased, the twisted lines gradually solidified, as if they had become real blood vessels with blood flowing through them. On the high cliff, there was a violent vibration, and gravel fell from the edge of the cliff and fell into the sea, stirring up waves.